Christian Romance: The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly
I was asked an interesting question a little while ago.
Why don’t you enjoy romance?
It’s a simple question, right? But when I had to actually sit down and explain myself, I realized my answer wasn’t simple at all. I don’t enjoy romance. I hardly ever read it, and you couldn’t pay me to watch it. I don’t dislike the very concept of love/romance, I simply prefer stories where love is merely an element, not the focal point.
Why?
Because romance is predictable.
The entire point of a romantic novel is to watch two people fall for each other, so, I always feel like I head into love stories already knowing how things will end. No, I can’t predict everything that will happen in the story, but, to me, romance leaves very little to the imagination because the end goal is ultimately the same from book to book. Get two people together.
When it comes to Christian romance, however, my concerns are much more personal. Probably because I’m a Believer myself, so I feel more connected to the genre.
Strictly as a matter of preference and personal opinion, I only dislike Christian romance. All other areas of Christian fiction are completely enjoyable to me.
There is a general ‘clean’ concept that exists in the Christian fiction market. Most books are generally family-friendly or at least rated PG-13. But romance seems to be especially shackled. The concept of a ‘steamy’ Christian romance is typically shunned in the community, and most books that do attempt to provide more mature—adult-like—content are bombed with one-star reviews.
Because of this, I find it somewhat difficult to get into Christian or Clean romance because it doesn’t feel genuine. I never feel truly committed or emotionally connected to squeaky clean stories because there doesn’t seem to be a deep emotional connection between the characters. Most CR authors are careful not to allow their characters to do anything more than share a chaste peck on the lips, which makes for a very boring read.
Conversely, you don’t have to share a physical connection in order to establish a deep emotional one. But I’m not one to enjoy reading four hundred pages of two grown people blushing at each other.
I’ll be the first to say I don’t expect or enjoy sensual scenes in Christian romance. But I do expect—and I expect to enjoy—some sort of bond between characters that goes beyond a thumping heart and red cheeks.
That layer of intimacy is left gaping wide open in Christian romance. It feels like we have come to view any sort of passion or desire between couples as an act of lust. Or an act of sin. And I don’t believe that’s true. I think it is entirely possible to express deep passion and desire between two people without them ending up in bed before getting married. I think there is such a thing as passion that is pure. Or desire that doesn’t teeter the lines of lust. But we hardly ever see that expressed in Christian romance.
Another thing that bothers me in CR is the good-girl/bad-boy syndrome. Way too many Christian romantic novels tell the story of an innocent Christian woman getting caught up in a whirlwind love story with someone she shouldn’t be with. Typically, by the end of the book, she will have stolen the heart of the unsaved male character who’s given his life to Christ because of her. And it all ends happily ever after.
I don’t like the good girl syndrome because it seems to encourage Christian women to date outside the church, which is a huge no-no for me. I believe the Bible is quite clear on Believers being mindful of the company we keep.
II Corinthians 6:14 NIV Do not be yoked together with unbelievers.
I Corinthians 15:33 NIV Do not be misled: Bad company corrupts good character.
Proverbs 13:20 NIV Walk with the wise and become wise, for a companion of fools suffers harm.
Romans 16:17 NIV Watch out for those who cause divisions and put obstacles in your way that are contrary to the teaching you have learned. Keep away from them.
I understand there is a certain expectation that readers will be mature enough to know a Christian romantic novel is simply a work of fictional entertainment and shouldn’t be taken as a serious statement of faith. However, I do believe that our work as Christians should positively portray our faith and guide people back to the Word. So, I think it’s disturbing that most of the bestselling Christian romance stories out there feature a Christian girl falling for a non-Christian boy, especially when the Word is so clear on how we should do our best not to form such strong connections with people who aren’t of the Faith.
I know, I know… Jesus dined with sinners. And, maybe you can lead this person to Christ, right?
Sure!
But, let me remind you. You don’t have to date someone to lead them to Christ. Jesus didn’t date any of his disciples or the sinners He dined with.
I won’t ignore there is a chance you can lead this person to the Lord. But please recognize that there is also chance the reverse may happen. This unsaved person can pull you away from Christ. I don’t enjoy Christian romance because too much of it seems to ignore this fact. I don’t like books that glorify or romanticize relationships that are, quite frankly, in direct rebellion against the Word.
I know, I know… I am being quite harsh and possibly even over the top right now. In fact, I’ll admit to having enjoyed some of these sorts of books, you know the frontier books with covers featuring an innocent-looking white girl in a bonnet? Yeah… I’ve gone through my share of those good-girl/bad-boy novels.
BUT my point here isn’t to necessarily eliminate these books altogether, it’s to simply point out that perhaps this sort of content leaves a bad impression on the Body of Christ. If you look at what’s most popular in Christian romance, you’ll think there aren’t any good Christian men in the world. Because all the Christian women from these novels are marrying non-Believers.
Let me be fair and say there are plenty of CR stories out there that aren’t about a girl falling for a boy she shouldn’t be with. I’m only going on about this particular trope because it happens so often.
Another issue I notice trending in Christian romance is something my sister calls ‘Popcorn Christianity.’ This happens when characters place an emphasis on certain aspects of their faith but seem to ignore others.
Now, don’t get me wrong, I don’t enjoy books about squeaky clean perfect characters at all. Because the truth is, we as Christians are not squeaky clean or perfect. If we were, we wouldn’t need Christ as our Savior. So I don’t mind characters who make mistakes—even BIG mistakes. But sometimes it feels like CR authors weigh a character’s salvation by their sexual purity. It doesn’t matter if you get drunk at parties, lie to your friends and family, or even kill people. As long as you’re a virgin when you do it, then it’s all good.
I once read a Christian romantic suspense novel where the main character did a number of these very things. She lied to her boyfriend, got drunk at a house party, openly admitted that she only went to church a few months out the year, and even killed two people by the end of the book. She never showed any worry, remorse, or concern over her very un-Christian-like behavior throughout the story, but she made it a point to NEVER do more than share a very chaste peck on the lips with her boyfriend. The author constantly reminded readers of how careful the characters were to make sure they didn’t tempt each other and were never alone without a chaperone—despite being in their mid-twenties—but concerns over all the other things the protagonists did were far and few.
On the other hand, you also have CR novels that make their characters adhere so strongly to their faith where it reaches a point of pride. I call this the ‘Pedestal’ trope. I hate when I see this in CR because I don’t believe we need to put others down in order to lift God up.
You don’t have to portray every unsaved character in your book as a lowlife monster in order to show how good your Christian characters are.
You don’t have to portray women who wear makeup and high heels as promiscuous women with no standards just to emphasize how pure and chaste your Christian character is.
You don’t have to portray unsaved men as scumbags only interested in sex just to prove how noble and respectful Christian men are in comparison.
I find preachy books like this to be distasteful and off-putting, even though they do glorify and uplift God. It is simply rude to grossly misrepresent others in the process. Jesus never did that. He made it a point to approach others in love and kindness because He understood that insulting people will never draw them closer to Him. There is a way to correct behavior without hurting anyone in the process. Yes, the truth hurts, but the way you reveal the truth doesn’t have to.
I think I’ve gone on long enough complaining about everything I don’t enjoy in Christian romance. I don’t want you to think I hate CR. I am ABSOLUTELY POSITIVE there are some amazing CR novels out there. I just haven’t found very many of them. I don’t want this article to dissuade anyone from enjoying the genre. So keep an eye out for my article, A List of Steamy Christian Romance Novels. Now available! Click the title to read now!
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Thank you for reading.
God bless.